Fridays.

Fridays are my favorite days. They’re the reprieve from a long, hard week. They’re also days that I have fond memories of time shared with you. Intimate moments in the early morning hours of a beautiful Friday shared beneath the covers of my bed. Eager anticipation of you walking through my front door, embracing me, kissing me, and then laying down together in my still warm bed. Ahh. Blissful memories of Fridays past and longing for the experience again.

It’s been a long time since we’ve shared what we called “naked Fridays”. My body and soul ache for precious time like that with you again. Every Friday I wake up, think of you and miss the intimacy. It was so much more than sex. It was talking, listening, caressing, laughing, sharing, exposing our inner most selves and trusting each other fully in those minutes. Although it was brief, usually 30 minutes or so, it felt like time stood still and we were just immersed in one another. Every touch rejuvenated my senses. Every kiss stoked my soul. Every laugh filled my heart to the brim. It was the best kind of therapy.

I would love to share a lifetime of Fridays with you and every day in between. Morning, noon, and night every day of every week for the rest of my life.

Lovingly yours,

The Repressed Peach

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So I’ve been letting Friday sink in a little more and my God I couldn’t be happier. 😊I find myself thinking so many thoughts and wanting to ask a million questions but when you’re there, standing right in front of me, I can’t say a word. In fact, it’s amazing to me that when you walk into a room my mind stops thinking about anything else entirely. It’s like I need to just be in your presence and soak up the time. Nothing else matters. Nothing else can enter my mind. Time stops and my world is you. And in some strange way, just by doing that, all my questions get answered anyway. I don’t need to hear you say anything. I can feel you. I can feel you sharing your answers to every question I can think up and then some. Everything falls into place and my world is right again. I never imagined feeling like this about anyone before. It’s more than what the best romance movies portray or the best novels. It’s so much more.

Today I thought of how people can bring out the best in someone or the worst. I thought of all the ways you make me whole. You make me better. You inspire me. You motivate me. You make my soul smile in ways it’s never smiled before. You’ve helped me grow into the woman I am today. I can’t say that anything about you has been bad for any part of me. Even my heart, despite our trials, you’ve made my heart grow and find new depths from which to love you. It’s all so incredible.

I can only pray you feel a fraction of what I feel but then again, I know. I know you do. I feel it in your smile and in the taste of your kiss. ❤️

Sleep well baby. I’ll see you again.

Love always,

The Repressed Peach

Soul food.

Ahh! It’s insane that it’s been nearly a year since we’ve seen each other and yet we picked right back up where we had left off. Space and time has done nothing to lessen the intensity of my feelings for you or the effect you have on my heart and soul. Thank you for seeing me and spending quality time with me catching up and connecting. Your voice was music to my ears, your laugh made my heart soar, your hug made me feel alive again. It was truly a great time enjoying you. It felt so good to feel like me again. The true me. The full and fulfilled me. The me that’s me when I’m with you. ❤️ I hope you had just as good of a time and enjoyed me too.

The beautiful thing about today is that it was beautiful and so magical. And I am so happy to have what we had today and not need anything more. I would love to have more days just like today with you. I would love to hear all your thoughts and wishes. And I would love to share the world with you. But I’m happy. So happy and satisfied with what today brought. I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as I will tomorrow.

I have so much to process still. More to come on this one baby.

Thoughtfully,

The Repressed Peach

Happy again

I wrote a post a couple months ago about this sense of sadness that was the undertone for all other emotions. And you know it’s been a minute since I’ve felt true happiness. I can’t say that I’m entirely there just yet, but I can say that I’m definitely on the upswing. I haven’t felt the need to cry humongous alligator tears over my heartache. I don’t feel a deep sense of foreboding. I don’t feel the full weight of the breakup on my shoulders every day. My thoughts aren’t consumed anymore. The songs I listen to speak to all aspects of my life instead of just my heart. Conversations I have don’t spark an immediate memory of us. It’s a good shift. It is a shift supported by some doctor prescribed chemical compounds that have altered my perception but I’m feeling some possible long term effects.

What we had will never be less than it was. Never. No matter how much time passes, what anyone says, or what we do about it… it will always be the best 5 years of my entire life. I will always relish our days, moments, sacred times. I will hold you close to my heart forever. I have just found that it’s not necessary for me to be sad anymore. I can be happy and still love you. I can be happy and still wish you happiness I can be happy and move forward with life. I’m working on the depths of happiness in the facets of life. Like finding happiness in the breeze outside, the beautiful melody of the wind-chime, the cool fresh air on my skin, a freshly made bed of clean sheets, the giggle of a baby nearby, a cold strong drink after a hard day’s work, and so much more. Happiness is being found in the usual moments of the gift of life God has given me. I’m grateful. I’m thankful. I’m blessed. And I’m peacefully happy.

I’m still a work in progress. Far from a finished masterpiece with many layers left to discover about myself and the world around me, and with fortitude, peace, happiness and good friends, I will find a deep spring of happiness that will run my whole life long.

Lovingly yours,

The Repressed Peach

If you’re reading this…

If you’re reading this then I want you to know you have the keys to my heart. I don’t share this with just anyone and it’s anonymous for a reason. So read on and learn about all the things I couldn’t say but felt so deeply. Where my voice and confidence wavered, the written word carried me through. I’ve wanted to share this with you for so long. I’ve wanted to give you access to every emotion but wondered if it was the right thing to do. And now, with nothing left to lose, I thought I would leave it all on the table. No regrets. No worries. Just pure, unadulterated, raw emotion. We may never see each other again and I will always wonder if you wanted more, but this is the place that will satisfy all of your curiosities about us. This entry isn’t the last by the way, far from it, I’m sure. You can come back and read or reread anything you want. This is ours.

So, in case I never see you again… thank you. Thank you for giving me such amazing love. God knows that the love I feel for you is nothing short of mind blowing. I find myself speechless so often. I find that words don’t really convey the depth of what I feel. It’s everything about you. It’s your essence. It’s our chemistry. It’s the small gestures. It’s the way you walk and how you laugh. I will miss hearing your voice. I will miss your smile. I will miss your swagger. So, thank you for sharing life with me for so long. Thank you for letting me learn about the kind of love that I want to have for the rest of my life. Thank you for giving me so much love that I learned to love myself for who I am. I will forever be grateful for our time and for you.

With great love,

The Repressed Peach