There’s this undercurrent of longing that runs just below the surface of my mind but edges deep into my soul. Nothing can ease it. No salve can be found in the medicine cabinet or at the bottom of a bottle that can touch the need my soul feels. Sometimes I ignore it out of a need to survive. Other times I get angry at it because I wish I could wish it away but it doesn’t budge. In other posts I’ve called this feeling “angst” however I’m getting more acquainted with the emotion and it’s just shit tons of love sitting in store waiting to be released. It’s not a bad feeling at all, it’s lots of really good goodness bubbling to spill out and on to you. Sometimes holding all be good back makes my heart ache a bit so I get confused about what I’m really feeling. But me and this love are friends, not foe, so I will stay in close kinship and get used to it more and more every day. My soul hungers to feel alive again under your gaze. My skin desires your strong, long fingers stroking it. My eyes are sore for the sight of your amazing smile. I nearly have an earache listening so hard for your laugh or the sound of your voice. Do you know how much comfort your voice brings to me? God do I love it so much.
This love exists for you regardless of what you do, the status of our relationship, my actions, or anything else. This is unconditional, no strings attached love. Pure and true. It’s my fountain of hope, truth, faith, passion, and warmth. So while the fountain does what fountains do, I will press on each day with all the goodness of which the fountain pours into me. And maybe, I might let some of that goodness spill out onto others just so I can see life spring forth in people’s eyes and they benefit from the intense love I have for you. Now that I’m thinking of it, I will share a little bit more love with myself and God.
Until next time babe. 😊❤️
The Repressed Peach